Part 2: Why MLMs Feel So Personal
If you’ve ever felt uncomfortable when a friend invited you into their MLM... you’re not alone. You may have second-guessed yourself:
Am I being judgmental?
Shouldn’t I want to support their business?
Why does this feel different than when a friend starts a photography studio or opens an Etsy shop?
You’re not imagining it. MLMs do feel more personal than other kinds of business—and there are real reasons why.
First, it’s not just a product. It’s a pitch.
In traditional business, you might support a friend’s dream by buying their art or sharing their website. But with MLMs, the “support” often comes with strings—like joining the downline, hosting a party, or becoming a customer on a recurring subscription. Even just liking a post can invite a whole uncomfortable “conversation” when all you were trying to do was be kind to their business post…
That’s not just friendship. That’s recruitment. And when your friend genuinely believes this business is the way to freedom or healing or financial breakthrough, it creates this subtle pressure: If you really cared about me, or if you really knew what was best for you… you’d say yes.
But that’s not fair to you. And it’s not fair to them either—because MLMs often quietly train people to see relationships as revenue streams, even if unintentionally.
Second, it’s hard to say no—because you do care.
Let’s just name the dynamic that so many people feel but don’t know how to say:
“When I decline the offer, it feels like I’m rejecting a friend, not just passing on a product.”
That’s exhausting. Saying no shouldn’t threaten a relationship. But in MLM culture, it very often does, no matter how determined either party may be to not let it affect the friendship.
That fear is part of what makes this feel so different than just choosing not to shop at Target, pass on a friend’s affiliate link, or skip a candle party.
There’s an emotional cost to protecting your boundaries. There’s a risk that someone will misunderstand your no as a lack of support or love. And if you’ve felt that... again, you’re not alone.
Third, blurred lines erode trust.
One of the things that makes friendship beautiful is that you can just be. You’re not a project. You’re not a potential. You’re just... you. And they’re just them.
But when a relationship becomes infused with strategy—even sweetly packaged strategy—it can shift from mutual delight to relational pressure.
“Was this coffee catch-up really about me? Or was it leading somewhere?”
You don’t even need a sales pitch for that pressure to be felt. Sometimes it’s in the atmosphere. Literally.
I remember being a young mom—my baby still tiny—and my husband’s friend invited us over to their new house for lunch. We were excited. It had been a long time, we both had young kids, and it felt so good to be out of the house, connecting with old friends again.
But not long after we arrived, we started noticing things: the diffuser in the kitchen pumping out branded oils, the cleaner they “just happened” to use last-minute on the patio table, the shakes sitting on the counter with a casual mention of how much weight they’d lost. No one said anything directly. But it was clear: this wasn’t just lunch.
My husband actually caught that “vibe” long before I did ( and he knows nothing about MLM’s…I could tell all the way home he felt betrayed by a friend.
WE both felt it without even glancing at each other —We weren’t just guests—we were being positioned.
Without a formal pitch, we felt it.
That afternoon left a pit in my stomach—not because of what they said, but because of what was silently being sold.
It wasn’t lunch just between friends. It was a soft sell in disguise.
I share that story because I want you to know: you are not crazy for feeling it. And if you’re in an MLM—please hear this with so much love—you don’t have to give a pitch for your friends for them to sense what’s underneath.
That’s the nature of these blurred lines. They speak loudly, even in silence.
What does Scripture say?
The Bible doesn’t mention MLMs, of course. But it does have a lot to say about how we treat one another:
“Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good… Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.” —Romans 12:9–10
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.” —Philippians 2:3
“Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to act.” —Proverbs 3:27
These verses remind us that relationships are sacred.
People are not pipelines.
Friends are not funnels.
And whenever something—even a business model—starts eroding that, we’re wise to pause and examine it.
A gentle encouragement (if you’re in an MLM)
If you’re reading this and you’re part of an MLM, I hope you feel loved—not attacked. This isn’t about you being manipulative or deceptive or greedy. It’s not personal.
This blog is about the model, not your heart.
But if you’ve noticed some friends pulling away… or if you feel that pit in your stomach when you send the “Hey girl!” message… you’re not crazy to wonder if something feels off.
There’s a reason it feels hard. A reason it doesn’t land well. And naming that tension doesn’t mean you’re bad at business—it means you care about people more than profit. And that’s beautiful.
Coming Up Next:
In Part 3, we’ll zoom out and look at what makes MLMs structurally different from other business models. This isn’t just about one bad experience—it’s about understanding the deeper patterns that can affect both finances and faith.
